How I Loathe "small talk"

So I'm in the breakroom at work listening to some perverted old man talk.  His name is Rick.  He's one of those guys who has been working for the company for over twenty years and tries to date any new girl who is under the age of 25.  It's sad to see him try to make small talk.  His biggest opening lines are the following, "Staying out of trouble?". And if your reply is yes, he responds with, "Awe too bad.". Or a "How Boring!". Sad man.  Another one is "You look just like this girl who used to work here.  We dated for a minute.". 
Pause for reaction....bahahaha!  He tried these on me when I first started, unfortunately for him, I'm not some naive little girl who can't tell when a 55 year old dirty man is trying to pick me up.  I called him out and he stopped.  And this was a year and a half ago.  Now when he walks by I try to ignore him or if I'm forced to speak to him, I'll always bring up Vince.  He's also one of those guys who always has a story.  Whether it's ab his skiing trips or the girl he's currently seeing.  Right now he is talking ab how he can't wait to retire so he can move to Indiana and be closer to the 500.  Guess what dude?  We can't wait either.
Which brings me to this question, does anyone really like meaningless small talk?  I can't stand it!!! The very thought of running into someone I work with (minus friends), used to work with, or went to high school with while out shopping, makes my pits itch (not going to lie) just a little.  The whole, "how've you been? What's going on in your life?" shit is so, blah!  In reality, I really feel like saying, "hey, I know it's a Saturday and we're both here in this packed mall trying to run errands, let's just keep things to a hello and a goodbye". Even a slight nod of the head gresturing, "I see you, and you see me.  We used to talk at one time and have lost contact.  But, hi!" would suffice.
Now once in a big while I'll see someone that I haven't seen in a while and actually want to talk them!  But then my mind starts to wonder, "what if the shoes on the other foot and now I'm the one they don't want to speak to!". Anxiety sets in.  "should I approach?  Or should I let them?!" over thinking happens to be a huge problem I have (or so my therapist tells me :-) ).
In instances like these, I just stride up and start the small talk.  I can usually tell right away if I'm not wanted.  This comes from having an older sister (haha sorry Sheree).  But again, this is only happens once in a while.

Thanks for reading my sad rant!  
Here's hoping that you're not bored at work.